And with that.. we're into October already. The leaves are changing and falling, the temps are dipping into the 30s at night, and the flying has been nonexistent.
My life has unfortunately been consumed all summer with erecting and weatherproofing my two-story garage. And it's still not over. I have to install the garage doors and button up the last remaining wall with siding. A few more full days of work and I can stop dealing with it just in time for the flying season to cease.
I went to the flight park two or three times all summer and my airtime this season (not including Florida) has been about two hours - the lowest ever. We have a new tug pilot who was awesome, and my flights were uneventful and, dare I say, fun. The sad part of it is I haven't really missed it. I miss flying itself, but the logistics and drama behind the scenes have smothered the desire. It seems we can't go hang gliding without being ragged on, have some kind of drama, impassible roads, weather not cooperating, grass is ten feet high in the LZ, etc. It's always been something to the point where I just don't care to go.
I started doing this when I was 13 and it's all I wanted to do for 15 years but now I'm indifferent. In spite of going into the Nationals with the mindset that 'even if I come in last, it's the Nationals' my poor performance snuffed out my confidence as a pilot since I got the shit stomped out of me. Yet for some reason I want to go down to FL to compete in the 2020 Worlds. Inevitably, my lack of airtime/confidence and the stressful comp environment would probably get the better of my nerves and my prediction is that I'd get slaughtered again. I got my hopes up at Green Swamp placing 13th out of 50-ish pilots, then got a reality check placing 22 of 28 against the cream-of-the-crop sport pilots and not flying two of the tasks due to the conditions.
There is no place in competition for my lack of confidence and sense of self preservation at the moment, and I don't understand where the drive is coming from to put myself through another comp. I'd like to meet new people but I'm an introvert who doesn't drink alcohol. Anyone in the comp scenes knows the morning pilot briefings typically contain the location and type of alcohol in the keg for the end of each task, which counts me out. I also usually keep to myself and don't reach out to chat with others because I've always felt like I'm bothering them.
We'll see if absence makes the heart grow fonder over the winter, but what I'm seeing is that I'm burnt out of flying the same sites over and over. Ilya and I are planning on a cross-country flying trip to fly elsewhere. Ilya and I were invited to fly in Texas, Colorado, Utah and California by a bunch of our pilot friends so that's the plan. I've got some other friends in low places dotted across the West Coast so we'll see where it takes us.
